I killed a family member and I still have 3 bullets left over – who’s next?
Granted it was only in my mind and out of annoyance but still, it felt great while it lasted.
Okay before you start calling the psycho cops on me, allow me to plead my case.
I have the right to remain silent but for once let’s indulge in this moment, where I can tell you that I have dreamed of finding the off switch.
To the family and them doing ‘unexpected visits’.
This is how my mind bubbles over when they are there – with me:
It was great and all to see you but I’d like to go back to not caring whether I have matching socks on or if your tea is warm.
Give me back my peaceful sleep mornings, sans the sound of your scolding of “ It’s 8am in the morning and you haven’t started making breakfast”.
I beg for my couch space back, where I can sit clad in the most raggedy shirt I own and with my feet over the armrest. I’d rather have the TV back so I can binge watch on my ‘weird’ and ‘too educational’ shows. Let me watch Billions or Masterchef Australia without hearing , “What happens next?”
God I don’t want to have another conversation about my future, “I have no Idea where I’m headed” can only said so many times( quite frankly I’m tired of saying it).
For future reference, that’s why it’s called the future and not the present.
Yes that guy seems like a nice suitor and no I would not like to go speak to him – leave it alone (stop waving him over).
Also I would like to get through a packet of chips or slice of pizza without you going through a detailed analysis of my eating habits dating back to the 90’s.
Yes I still do that writing ‘thing’. No it wasn’t just a phase.
Let’s save each other some arguments and just buy both cakes; chocolate and vanilla.
Matter of fact, Iceland is now just ‘land’, even the heat of my frustration has melted the ice there.
Oh and lastly, oh my I have grown! Must be why my height has gone from 164.4 cm to 164.4 cm since you’ve last seen me.
Such is life, else it will all go up in smokes.
I love you so much but I have 3 bullets left and who’s next?