Loli

Loli

hold me to your chest
            –          block the sounds out
cover my trembling lips
with the warm of yours
remove any doubt
               –       of safety in your arms
because I’m scared

– – and I need you.

– K

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Calls

3 am you called me from your hotel room in China,  telling me how much you miss me, miss us. That the scorched bridges that we left behind have come back to haunt you. I can hear the city in background and I focus on that, scared that if I focus in on you and your voice I might find myself wanting you again. I’ve worked too hard for that. You’re good and I am too but together we’re toxic and lord knows how long it took for me to comprehend that . God it’s terrible because I can feel you clutching on that phone and the bill running in the same way my sanity is slipping from me. In some crazy way I’m hoping that it’s an illusion, a moment of weakness, a dream of some sort because you’ll always win even if I don’t want you to.

– K

Green Eyed Monster

That night we met, I guess the energy was percolating because I’ve never pulled over on the road, let alone at night. I don’t know what it was, your vintage car or your eyes that had me stepping out my car. You looked at me like some creature that you had never seen before and I was glad it was dark enough to cover my facial expressions.  You had stark green eyes and a smile that sent me to my demise. Stranger in the night, I still think about you even a year later, I’ve been searching for you on the roads – sometimes I see a mirage of you – but I can’t seem to catch it.

I miss you, wherever you are.
Stranger in the night.

– K

Starry Night

Once upon a time I was kid, shocker I know. I had to take a flight by myself.

I’ll have you know that since birth I’ve always been an over-thinker so the prospects of flying were not as exciting as they should be.

I did however manage to get onto the flight and locate my row without much struggle.

My heart sank. There sat man in the seat that I had so wished to have, the window seat, and I was doomed to the aisle seat of death ( I very much detest it).

To my surprise the man, whose name eludes me now, offered up his seat.

His act of kindness did not stop there.

He asked for blanket to be provided to me ( it was a night flight), offered to buy hot chocolate and ensured my over-thinking tendencies did not worry me too much.

I remember him so vividly for the conversation he gifted me.

Mid-flight when turbulence hit, this is how the conversation ran:

“What are stars K?”

“Little lights?”

He proceeded to tell me how the stars, my ‘lights’, were in essence like guardians for each person in the world. That each star belongs to someone and that the stars which shone dimmer were people in need. That I should always remember that we could always meet a dim star’s person, so act with kindness and love. More importantly, we all stars regardless of which shape, make, colour and even brightness we possess.

I’ve always regarded him as a star that fell into the plane for me that night. Wherever you are red-headed star with those eyes that seemed to hold the world, thank you.

Your small acts of kindness have been giant to me.

K